Virtue Value Experience #2

Virtuous living "at all times and in all things, and in all places" qualifies you for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. When you are baptized and confirmed, you are given the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide all aspects of your life. Since the Holy ghost does not dwell in unclean tabernacles, living a virtuous life is a prerequisite to having the companionship of the Holy Ghost and receiving the blessings of temple ordinances. Read the following scripture references and identify the promised blessings: John 14:26-27; 15:26; 2 Nephi 32:1-5; and Doctrine and Covenants 45:57-59; 88:3-4; 121:45-46. In your journal record what you have learned, and write about a time when you felt the guidance of the Holy Ghost.

I love reading about the promised blessings of the Holy Ghost. I was particularly touched with Doctrine and Covenants 121:45-46-be full of charity towards all men and live in faith and be faithful-be virtuous and the Holy Ghost will be your constant companion and without 'compulsory means' it shall flow unto thee forever and ever. Wow. If I live the right way, the Spirit will just BE there. Love that promise!
I remember when my husband came home from work one morning in August 2007 and said he'd had an 'epiphany' that I could go to work part time for the insurance and he could work per-diem. No benefits, but making a lot more money. It also meant he could cut drastically down on his hours, which were significant.
I was less than thrilled with the idea. I had worked outside of the home before and did not want to miss out on raising my children and being there when they needed me. But I recognized enough in his 'epiphany' that I knew I needed to consider it.
I proceeded to less than halfheartedly look for work and update my resume and references. My husband came home from work one day, mentioning the many people who were moving from his unit to the new hospital once it opened. He had spoken with his manager and learned about some positions that were opening that I was qualified for. He told his manager about some of my experience and the manager asked that I call him. I felt stuck. . .smiling at my well-meaning husband, he went off to bed peacefully, and "grumble, grumble, grumble" went I.
Not being able to procrastinate that phone call very long, knowing that I was expected, I called and we had a chat. The manager of the department wanted to meet with me and we set up an interview time. This process was going a lot faster than I wanted it to! The interview went very well and, pending a reference check, I was essentially hired.
I had put off really praying about going back to work because I was afraid of the answer I would receive. Now it was crunch time. Time to get an answer and I couldn't deny it.
I remember it was in the evening. Either my wise, wonderful husband (no sarcasm there-he really is these things) was at work, or he' gone to bed and I'd stayed up. I knelt extremely conflicted next to the couch and I said a prayer. I was more conflicted than ever and I just cried and cried. As my tears quieted, I realized that submitting to the will of the Lord and truly getting an answer would be much preferable to the conflict I was experiencing. I also knew that the voice of reason to make the decision to submit to His will was not my own, but the very still, small voice of the Spirit.
With the decision to submit made, I prayed. I didn't just say a prayer. I prayed to know what would be right for our family. What Heavenly Father would have me do.
I knew two things at once. That I should accept this job offer, and that it would be a good thing for our family, that it would be a blessing.
From that time forward, I was fine. Truly fine. Countless blessings arose from that time in our lives:
-Our children spent more quality time with their paternal grandparents. Those early months of my going back to work before my husband's schedule was adjusted to be home more were the last few months on Earth that we had with Grandma. A fact we were not aware of at the time I first accepted the job.
-Dad was around a lot more-which was awesome!
-I made many new friends. Good and wonderful people who became lifelong friends.
-I felt successful! And appreciated! I say that so simply, but I know it was something I was in need of.
-I never had to work a night shift. I was scheduled to work Christmas Day the first year there. I was really sad, but we made plans to make the best of it. A week or so after the holiday schedule was released, I received a phone call from another person in my position who wanted to take my Christmas shift. He didn't have any family and wanted the overtime pay.
I am so grateful for the whisperings of the Spirit in our lives. And so eternally grateful that my Heavenly Father and husband know me enough to keep pushing me and have patience with me so that these blessings could be enjoyed!

Virtue Project

The Savior chose to live a virtuous life. Follow His admonition to "learn of me" (D&C 19:23) by reading the entire Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. Liken the scriptures to your life and circumstances. As you read, record your thoughts regularly in your journal. Note the example of the Savior. What did He and those who followed Him do to live virtuous lives? At the completion of your reading, record your testimony.

"I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book" (Joseph Smith, in introduction to the Book of Mormon).

As I completed the Book of Mormon last week, I was not overcome with a sense of truthfulness of the scripture. I had instead, a small inkling of peace that I already knew; I had already known it was true. As I thought about this small inkling, I wondered if that was really what I was feeling.

But as I knelt in prayer about my testimony of its truth, I felt the Spirit's confirmation that the feelings I had when I finished were true. I had already known of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. A testimony I gained many years ago through a period of diligent study.

My feelings are not one of overwhelming joy at its truth, but an absolute quiet peace - a peace that I can only compare to time spent in the temple. How grateful I am.

As I type what I wrote in my journal, I feel that peace again and bear that testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I am by nature, a private person (all evidence to the contrary). I began this blog for myself because as I write about my experiences, the things I learn are clarified in my mind and strengthened in my heart. I also like the ability to link to other things I've learned on the same topic. I realize that others may read this and wonder at my sincerity or why I post it for all to see. I post these things for me, and maybe my daughter will find support in them when she begins this same journey; but I don't keep them private either. The growth of a testimony can be a miraculous thing and I think it is important that we realize that it doesn't come all at once. We forget all too often that this life is a journey and we are learning all along the way.

Divine Nature Value Experience 2

As a young woman you are blessed with divine feminine qualities. Increase your understanding of and appreciation for womanhood. Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and two talks on womanhood from a conference issue of the Church magazines. Review what "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" says about being a wife and a mother. Then ask your mother or another mother you admire what she thinks are important attributes for being a mother. List the attributes in your journal. Then choose one of those attributes and strive to develop it. After two weeks report your success to a parent or leader.

I chose to read A "Mother Heart" by Julie B. Beck and Mothers and Daughters by M. Russell Ballard. I actually asked opinions of my Facebook friends what they thought were important attributes for a mother to have. I also asked my sisters (it's great having three of them) lessons they really learned from Mom. Friends listed the following attributes: patience, a sense of humor, unconditional love, organization, prioritizing (time, stuff, kids, activities), selflessness, multi-tasker, a strong testimony, and from our very funny RS President, children. My sisters talked about some I've mentioned before: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all; If you don't like this stage, wait two weeks or a month, it will be something different; Everybody plays or nobody plays; I'm raising young ladies! and a few more timeless gems.

Although Robin's answer of "children" was funny to me, it made me pause and really think about how blessed I am to have four wonderful children. I have concentrated more on being grateful for each of their personalities and I have realized something in the last two weeks. In the stresses of life, I think I lost a lot of the sense of humor I, as a mother, need to have. Not that I'm a complete stick in the mud, but I think my children think I am a lot more stern sometimes than I really am and I've realized that it is probably because I don't laugh sometimes when I need to. A funny thing is happening as I remember to lighten up, I FEEL lighter too! Didn't realize loosing a sense of humor was a burden on my shoulders. Sometimes you don't realize what you had until it is almost gone ;)

Although there are many of the other important attributes for mothers I still need to work on, right now I am concentrating on loving my children for who they are and who they are becoming and laughing with them a lot more than they are used to. It feels great.

I love Elder Ballard's words, "Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman." He also says, "As Ralph Waldo Emerson is believed to have said, 'What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say' (see Ralph Keyes, The Quote Verifier [2006], 56)."

I don't often get stressed about major events in our lives. I know the Lord will take care of it and everything will work out. But I realized my stress at home when life is crazy and there are a million things going on at once and everyone needs to talk to me about it at once was setting a poor example to my children. How will they ever learn to think about their future family life with joy if they can't see my joy in our family life? I'm pretty sure those stressful afternoons will often speak more loudly than a lot of the fun, stress-free experiences we also have. So. . .I work to change, and laugh a little more at the same time.

Faith Value Experience 1

The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Learn about faith from the scriptures and living prophets. Read Hebrews 11; Alma 32:17-43; Ether 12:6-22; and Joseph Smith-History 1:11-20. Read two general conference talks on faith. Exercise your own faith by establishing a habit of prayer in your life. Begin by regularly saying your morning and evening prayers. After three weeks of following this pattern, discuss with a parent or leader what you have learned about faith and how daily personal prayer has strengthened your faith. In your journal express your feelings about faith and prayer.

The talks from general conference I chose are: President Thomas S. Monson, Come Unto Him in Prayer and Faith (not actually from general conference, but it is from the Prophet, so I counted it); and Elder David A. Bednar, Ask in Faith.

As we make personal prayer a habit - a priority, we turn to our Heavenly Father throughout the day. Our thoughts turn to him more easily. Then He is able to strengthn our faith, in confirmations that cannot be denied come from Him. I tried to take my prayers to a different level, and to listen more during my prayers. I found myself praying more specifically about blessings and about particular needs - of mine and family members. Specifics I had not considered before.

I also found, that while I have kept a brisk pace at reading the Book of Mormon this time around, I had not focused a lot on likening the scriptures to myself. I found that as I have kept this little prayer in my heart, I have been blessed with greater inspiration in those pages. Things I need to learn, things I need to remember.

Many friends, mostly from work, marveled at my attitude and excitement in moving our family away to further David's education. A couple of them even went so far as to suggest I stay in Utah with the kids for 27 months while he finished school. This thought was so foreign to me I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. When I said to my friend that surely, if she were in the same situation she would not separate her family. She assured me that she most certainly would.

My cheerfulness about his stage in our lives brought about so many comments that I've thought a bit about it. Should I be feeling like I've been gypped and am going through a terrible sacrifice? I don't think so. On the contrary, I feel very blessed.

So what is it exactly? Is it just some gift, some added blessing? Well certainly it is an added blessing, but my point is this: it is not just something that was already a part of me, waiting to bloom at the right time. My key to finding joy in the journey is this: pray about the decisions you make in your life. When you have a confirmation that you are doing what the Lord would have you to, it is easy. Not that life is suddenly a breeze, but you have the strength to do what is needed because you not only know you aren't alone - you know you won't be left alone. And if you make prayer and scriptures a priority in your life, your day can be filled with moments of comfort, joy, strength, and faith. What you need when you need it.

For the Strenth of Youth - Service to Others

Read about this standard here.

Yesterday started out as a really crummy day. I had slept horribly and wandered around with a terrible headache.

In my all-around gloominess, I became increasingly sad and I could not shake it. I felt uplifted when I read the Book of Mormon that morning, but by the time everyone was up and out the door to school, I could not shake this feeling. In my cloudy stupor, I became convinced that David had done something I should be upset about. Oh, what our family puts up with!

Each time I thought about confronting him, I felt like I should not. The more I tried to listen to that guidance, the more sulky I became.

Before long, David had to run an errand and once he left I was quite distraught. I knelt in prayer for strength. I didn't feel much better, but felt like I needed to call a certain sister in our ward and offer my assistance. I really did not feel up to this. Further, I was pretty sure she would not need my assistance, but I continued to feel impressed to call her.

So. . .finally. . .I put myself aside and called her up. I offered my assistance, she assured me she was taken care of, we spoke for a few short minutes, and that was that.

I was quite surprised at the miracle that occured in me however. I felt lighter than air! No more worries consumed me!

When I was grabbing the phone to call her, I noticed a book I had placed on the bookshelf the day before. It is a short little book called "The Remarkable Soul of a Woman" adapted from a talk that President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave at the general Relief Society meeting on September 27, 2008 entitled Happiness, Your Heritage. I had not quite finished reading it, and failed to see how it could possibly cheer me up, but grabbed it anyways and then made my phone call.

Sitting there, post phone call, lighter than air, I picked up the book and within a page or two read this by President Lorenzo Snow, "When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everthing seems illuminated."

This little miracle is certainly what happened to me yesterday and I am so grateful. As a side note, not long after this experience, David received news that caused him to have a long and stress-filled day. I am so grateful for that still small voice that earlier told me to hold my tongue. I was able to be the support I needed to be, instead of being the start of what turned out to be a crummy day for him.

For the Strength of Youth Standard 2: Gratitude

Read about this standard here. Live with a spirit of gratitude.

This week it is hard to focus on gratitude and not on things I wish I could buy. What is it about not having money that makes you want to buy, buy, buy? Maybe not everyone, but I find myself that way. I'm not even a real shopaholic.

Despite the stress of our financial situation, I am happy, and so grateful to be here at school. The kids have been tried and are growing because of it. So are Dave and I. I am grateful for our health too. So far, we have escaped serious injury or illness.

I am particularly grateful for my children. Who they are and who they are becoming. I love each of their personalities. Some days are hard, especially when they are grumpy (or I'm grumpy) or defiant and having a hard time getting along. But I know that even though some days are hard, I'm glad their personalities are strong enough to defend themselves and ask questions when they don't understand and see injustice. My prayer for them is the same as for each of us. That we will someday recognize our potential and have a desire to work towards it AND realize we have the strength to do so.

Choice and Accountability - Value Experience 2

Read the Pamphlet For the Strength of Youth. List in your journal each standard of righteous behavior the pamphlet outlines, and record why it is important to choose to live those standards. Practice living righteous standards by choosing three standards in which you need to improve. You might choose to be more selective about television, music, books, or other media, or you might improve your modesty, language, or honesty. After three weeks share your progress with your family, your class, or a leader.

I am particularly touched by the part in the First Presidency's Message in For the Strength of Youth where they state "We promise that as you keep these standards and live by the truths in the scriptures, you will be able to do your life's work with greater wisdom and skill and bear trials with greater courage."

I know this is true! Although I didn't have this pamphlet growing up, I know that by living the standards of the church these were my blessings in my youth. I believe they can give me strength again and I'm grateful for the opportunity to work with the Young Women of the Church to remind me of these blessings!

Choice and Accountability - Value Experience 3

Agency, or the ability to choose, is one of God's greatest gifts to His children. Read about agency in Joshua 24:15; 2 Nephi 2; and Doctrine & Covenants 82:2-10. Discuss the blessings and responsibilities of agency. Record in your journal your understanding of agency and the consequences of choices and actions.

I started this by studying the required reading and wrote some specific things down in my journal about the responsibilites and blessings of agency. I didn't feel as though I had learned much more than I knew. These were scriptures I was familiar with and although grateful to be reminded of them, I felt there was something more for me to learn.

Ask and it shall be given, right? Do you ever pause just a minute when you think about asking for greater understanding? Rarely does testimony grow without some kind of work.

Dave and I found out the other night that a couple that we knew from Kaysville is getting a divorce. It came as quite a shock to us and makes me so sad. Not just because of their marriage, but because I know and love their children. I worked with them often in Primary.

This knowledge came on the heels of my preparation for teaching a combined YW lesson on the home and the family. In my lesson, I used an example of a day at our house when decisions I have made throughout the day lead to a serious lack of organization, particularly at that crazy, busy time of the day. Namely: 4p to bedtime. My disorganization leads to chaos, confusion, and ultimately contention.

Because of my prep for my lesson, I've thought a lot about what I can do to make this time of day go more smoothly, so that I can be there for the kids. If my stuff is taken care of, then I can better handle all of the unexpecteds that go along with six different personalities.

I think of the heartache when someone you love makes a decision you don't like. I have felt sorrow, disappointment, and anger, and I have a couple of wisened years under my belt to help handle that. It is hard to watch my children go through those feelings when they don't like a decision their parents have made. I pray that the anger won't take hold in their hearts and they can find happiness - and, one day recognize where their happiness and true joy come from.

This is something I've watched in one of our children lately. Some days are good, some are bad. Combined with the stress of moving at this age, AND being this age. . .I have been so concerned at times for this boy that some days seems is teetering on the edge. The edge being staying in anger and taking the dark road that follows, or finding some light and realizing that is a happier place to be.

I don't recall days like that for me in my youth, although taking a glance back through journals from that time in my life I am shocked about some of the things I felt some days.

Today is one of those days that words cannot express my gratitude for my Heavenly Father's bounteous blessings. For piercing through the bitterness of a 12 year old to show His love for him. For the Light that today, helped him to just "get it."

Light always helps us make better decisions. Light makes things discernable.

Choice and Accountability - Value Experience 1

A daughter of God can make wise decisions and solve problems. Read 1 Nephi 15:8; 2 Nephi 32:3; Alma 34:19-27; Ether 2 and Ether 3; and Doctrine and Covenants 9:7-9. Follow a pattern of regular scripture study and prayer to receive help in making personal decisions such as choosing good friends, being kind to others, getting up on time, or other decisions. Discuss with a parent or leader how regular scripture study and prayer helped you make correct decisions.

I had determined to make scripture study a regualr part of my day again early last October. Then, in November we were challenged by the Stake Relief Society Presidency to read the Book of Mormon by the end of April as the R.S. encouraged the sisters to follow the example of the YW and the Value of Virtue. So I started over. Again. . .but I've stayed with it this time.

I find that if I begin my day with a purpose - namely. . .reading the Book of Mormon, everything else falls into place. Instead of waking up and facing the tasks of the household with drudgery, I face them, not with joy necessarily - but resolve without resentment because I know the order I bring to the house brings joy later. I cannot function when my realm of responsibility is in chaos. When those things are in order, I can handle with patience all of the craziness that is part of our lives after that 4:00 hour. Homework, dinner, playtime, children's household responsibilities (I could write a whole entry on how much easier life would be if I didn't have to teach my children to work), and all of the personalities and moods that accompany all of that.

I was touched when I read Ether chapter 2 with the required reading for this value experience. The Brother of Jared being provided with needed knowledge through continued prayer hit close to home for me in our current "grad student with a family of six" situation.

A little while ago, I started to write down blessings that I can recognize coming to us during this sometimes uncertain time in our lives. At first, I hesitated to do so, as if the blessings were like secrets and if acknowledged, they would disappear. A bit silly and superstitious, I know.

I decided I would much rather be able to look back and remember those blessings than forget. As a result, I carry around with me a grateful heart. Not that I am as full of gratitude as I should be. I fall short a great deal and I know I'm missing being grateful about a good many things.

But I am so grateful for His watchful care over us. His love is SO evident. As much as I've recognized that in the last several months, it makes me wonder how much I've failed to recognize for so many years.

That is what regular prayer and scripture study have done for me. Made my often oblivious heart tender and able to better recognize and be grateful for the many blessings that are mine. . .because of Him.