Prepare to be worthy to enter the temple and to participate in temple ordinances. Read Alma chapter 5. Make a list of the questions Alma asks. Answer the questions for yourself, and make a list of the things you can and will do to prepare yourself to be pure and worthy to enter the temple and receive all the blessings our Heavenly Father has promised His beloved daughters.
Alma 5:6-The Book of Mormon is filled with examples of the Lord's mercy for His children. When I first read this verse, I quickly think of times in my life when I haven't been as faithful as I should have been and I am reminded of the sweetness of the gospel. How, when I am obedient and live the life of a disciple, the comfort and peacefulness of our loving Father is right there. I feel exactly as is described in verse 7, "Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. . ."
Alma 5:8-9-Of course they were loosed-and what's more, as verse 9 states "and their souls did expand." What a beautiful way to describe what happens to us when we choose to follow Christ. It is also important to note the end of verse 9, "And I say unto you that they are saved." Are. Not were.
Alma 5:10-Alma believed God's word as spoken through Abinadi the prophet. He believed and a mighty change was wrought in his heart. This too can happen to each of us. We just need to put our trust in God.
And now to the real meat of it :)
Alma 5:14-Rarely, has any scripture been so ingrained in my heart and mind. Of any other scriptures reminiscent of my seminary years, this one holds special memories for me.
As a ninth grader, I was fortunate enough to have made a dear friend. One for life, who is as dear to me as my sisters.
We found ourselves one day after school visiting our favorite teacher, from our favorite class.
I don't remember if there was anything specific that prompted him to give us this little lesson. Perhaps it was to teach us that friendships made when two people love the Lord can last forever.
We had ventured down to his office because we were concerned that our strong friendship would not remain if we didn't have seminary together any longer. It seems so silly now, a hundred years and ten thousand worries later :)
He proceeded to pull out a magazine and show us a picture of a very troubled soul. He asked us a few questions about the person in the picture. Details I don't remember. What I do remember is my impression that it was not a happy person, or one who even kept commandments.
It seems very harsh to me now, explaining that. To not even know a person and judge them by what you see, but for the purpose of the lesson at hand, it was necessary and effective.
He then pulled out a recent copy of the New Era. He opened to a page with a picture of someone very familiar to me, one I knew of her character well. He again asked our impression of the ones in the pictures. The two were polar opposites. The New Era picture was of someone who was happy-not that she was laughing or even smiling much in the picture-but you could tell it was someone who kept the commandments. What was more, I knew this girl was virtuous. I knew that because I knew her. It was a picture of that dear, sweet friend standing next to me.
I don't remember much more about that occasion. We left feeling more secure in our friendship-one that has lasted far beyond any other. Since high school, we've rarely even lived in the same state, we only talk once or twice a year, but remain as close as sisters.
Sometime later, months-if not years-I came across Alma 5:14 and it hit me like a bolt of lightning. "Have you received His image in your countenance?" I picked up the phone and called her right away. This was the very lesson our wonderful seminary teacher had been teaching us. He may have even referenced this scripture at that time, it would make a lot of sense. I don't remember.
Something about that lesson, and me discovering that scripture left an indelible mark on me. I know what it is like to look at someone and see His image in their countenance. Moreover, I know that is someone I can count on and trust. It is something that I've always hoped people could see in me.
I realize that this friend is not a perfect person and that she has had times in her life when she has struggled, but I also know of her great goodness and love for those around her. She reminds me that it is possible to have hope when all seems lost, to put faith to the test and not let fear and anxiety take over and above all, that each of us truly has inside of us a great connection, one that when we strive to have his Spirit to be with us, reminds us that we are not just strangers aimlessly wandering this earth, but brothers and sisters in an eternal family and when we treat each other as such, it brings great richness and joy to this earthly existence.
Considering that question "Have your received His image in your countenance?" is of utmost importance as we strive to be worthy to enter the temple. For me, it is a clear and concise way to consider if I am living as He would have me live.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Virtue Value Experience #2
Virtuous living "at all times and in all things, and in all places" qualifies you for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. When you are baptized and confirmed, you are given the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide all aspects of your life. Since the Holy ghost does not dwell in unclean tabernacles, living a virtuous life is a prerequisite to having the companionship of the Holy Ghost and receiving the blessings of temple ordinances. Read the following scripture references and identify the promised blessings: John 14:26-27; 15:26; 2 Nephi 32:1-5; and Doctrine and Covenants 45:57-59; 88:3-4; 121:45-46. In your journal record what you have learned, and write about a time when you felt the guidance of the Holy Ghost.
I love reading about the promised blessings of the Holy Ghost. I was particularly touched with Doctrine and Covenants 121:45-46-be full of charity towards all men and live in faith and be faithful-be virtuous and the Holy Ghost will be your constant companion and without 'compulsory means' it shall flow unto thee forever and ever. Wow. If I live the right way, the Spirit will just BE there. Love that promise!
I remember when my husband came home from work one morning in August 2007 and said he'd had an 'epiphany' that I could go to work part time for the insurance and he could work per-diem. No benefits, but making a lot more money. It also meant he could cut drastically down on his hours, which were significant.
I was less than thrilled with the idea. I had worked outside of the home before and did not want to miss out on raising my children and being there when they needed me. But I recognized enough in his 'epiphany' that I knew I needed to consider it.
I proceeded to less than halfheartedly look for work and update my resume and references. My husband came home from work one day, mentioning the many people who were moving from his unit to the new hospital once it opened. He had spoken with his manager and learned about some positions that were opening that I was qualified for. He told his manager about some of my experience and the manager asked that I call him. I felt stuck. . .smiling at my well-meaning husband, he went off to bed peacefully, and "grumble, grumble, grumble" went I.
Not being able to procrastinate that phone call very long, knowing that I was expected, I called and we had a chat. The manager of the department wanted to meet with me and we set up an interview time. This process was going a lot faster than I wanted it to! The interview went very well and, pending a reference check, I was essentially hired.
I had put off really praying about going back to work because I was afraid of the answer I would receive. Now it was crunch time. Time to get an answer and I couldn't deny it.
I remember it was in the evening. Either my wise, wonderful husband (no sarcasm there-he really is these things) was at work, or he' gone to bed and I'd stayed up. I knelt extremely conflicted next to the couch and I said a prayer. I was more conflicted than ever and I just cried and cried. As my tears quieted, I realized that submitting to the will of the Lord and truly getting an answer would be much preferable to the conflict I was experiencing. I also knew that the voice of reason to make the decision to submit to His will was not my own, but the very still, small voice of the Spirit.
With the decision to submit made, I prayed. I didn't just say a prayer. I prayed to know what would be right for our family. What Heavenly Father would have me do.
I knew two things at once. That I should accept this job offer, and that it would be a good thing for our family, that it would be a blessing.
From that time forward, I was fine. Truly fine. Countless blessings arose from that time in our lives:
-Our children spent more quality time with their paternal grandparents. Those early months of my going back to work before my husband's schedule was adjusted to be home more were the last few months on Earth that we had with Grandma. A fact we were not aware of at the time I first accepted the job.
-Dad was around a lot more-which was awesome!
-I made many new friends. Good and wonderful people who became lifelong friends.
-I felt successful! And appreciated! I say that so simply, but I know it was something I was in need of.
-I never had to work a night shift. I was scheduled to work Christmas Day the first year there. I was really sad, but we made plans to make the best of it. A week or so after the holiday schedule was released, I received a phone call from another person in my position who wanted to take my Christmas shift. He didn't have any family and wanted the overtime pay.
I am so grateful for the whisperings of the Spirit in our lives. And so eternally grateful that my Heavenly Father and husband know me enough to keep pushing me and have patience with me so that these blessings could be enjoyed!
I love reading about the promised blessings of the Holy Ghost. I was particularly touched with Doctrine and Covenants 121:45-46-be full of charity towards all men and live in faith and be faithful-be virtuous and the Holy Ghost will be your constant companion and without 'compulsory means' it shall flow unto thee forever and ever. Wow. If I live the right way, the Spirit will just BE there. Love that promise!
I remember when my husband came home from work one morning in August 2007 and said he'd had an 'epiphany' that I could go to work part time for the insurance and he could work per-diem. No benefits, but making a lot more money. It also meant he could cut drastically down on his hours, which were significant.
I was less than thrilled with the idea. I had worked outside of the home before and did not want to miss out on raising my children and being there when they needed me. But I recognized enough in his 'epiphany' that I knew I needed to consider it.
I proceeded to less than halfheartedly look for work and update my resume and references. My husband came home from work one day, mentioning the many people who were moving from his unit to the new hospital once it opened. He had spoken with his manager and learned about some positions that were opening that I was qualified for. He told his manager about some of my experience and the manager asked that I call him. I felt stuck. . .smiling at my well-meaning husband, he went off to bed peacefully, and "grumble, grumble, grumble" went I.
Not being able to procrastinate that phone call very long, knowing that I was expected, I called and we had a chat. The manager of the department wanted to meet with me and we set up an interview time. This process was going a lot faster than I wanted it to! The interview went very well and, pending a reference check, I was essentially hired.
I had put off really praying about going back to work because I was afraid of the answer I would receive. Now it was crunch time. Time to get an answer and I couldn't deny it.
I remember it was in the evening. Either my wise, wonderful husband (no sarcasm there-he really is these things) was at work, or he' gone to bed and I'd stayed up. I knelt extremely conflicted next to the couch and I said a prayer. I was more conflicted than ever and I just cried and cried. As my tears quieted, I realized that submitting to the will of the Lord and truly getting an answer would be much preferable to the conflict I was experiencing. I also knew that the voice of reason to make the decision to submit to His will was not my own, but the very still, small voice of the Spirit.
With the decision to submit made, I prayed. I didn't just say a prayer. I prayed to know what would be right for our family. What Heavenly Father would have me do.
I knew two things at once. That I should accept this job offer, and that it would be a good thing for our family, that it would be a blessing.
From that time forward, I was fine. Truly fine. Countless blessings arose from that time in our lives:
-Our children spent more quality time with their paternal grandparents. Those early months of my going back to work before my husband's schedule was adjusted to be home more were the last few months on Earth that we had with Grandma. A fact we were not aware of at the time I first accepted the job.
-Dad was around a lot more-which was awesome!
-I made many new friends. Good and wonderful people who became lifelong friends.
-I felt successful! And appreciated! I say that so simply, but I know it was something I was in need of.
-I never had to work a night shift. I was scheduled to work Christmas Day the first year there. I was really sad, but we made plans to make the best of it. A week or so after the holiday schedule was released, I received a phone call from another person in my position who wanted to take my Christmas shift. He didn't have any family and wanted the overtime pay.
I am so grateful for the whisperings of the Spirit in our lives. And so eternally grateful that my Heavenly Father and husband know me enough to keep pushing me and have patience with me so that these blessings could be enjoyed!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Virtue Value Experience #1
Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It includes chastity and purity. The power to create mortal life is an exalted power God has given His children. He has commanded that this power be used only between a man and a woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. Study the meaning and importance of chastity and virtue by reading Moroni 9:9; Jacob 2:28; The Family: A Proclamation to the World; and the section on sexual purity in For the Strength of Youth. Also read Article of Faith number thirteen and Proverbs 31:10-31. In your journal write the promised blessings of being sexually clean and pure and your commitment to be chaste.
The promised blessings of being sexually clean and pure are many! I love the promises to the youth in For the Strength of Youth-preparing themselves to make and keep sacred covenants; being prepared to build strong marriages; bringing children into a loving family; protected from emotional damage. And then the promises to a virtuous young woman as found in Proverbs: husband safely trusts in her; she will do good and not evil all the days of her life; clothed in strength and honor; wise and kind; her children call her blessed and her husband praises her. . .who wouldn't want that?
As we strive to have high moral standards, our thoughts and behaviors become and are virtuous. Being chaste is a way of life that does not end once you are married. It is a continous decision in the world today. I'm grateful that we have not made a family habit of watching television shows. As Ty reaches the age that he is interested in some shows he hears about from friends, I watch him as he makes decisions about what to watch.
Recently, he asked if he could watch a certain show. I didn't want it on where the rest of the kids could see it, so he rented them off the computer through Netflix. Although I wasn't totally comfortable with this, I was comfortable enough that he could make a good decision on his own. He began watching and by the third or fourth episode, he let us know that he wasn't going to watch it anymore. He just wasn't comfortable with what he was watching.
I think that the conscious decision David and I have made not to watch that kind of thing has also begun to make an impact on our children. Some may say we shelter them too much, but really - they see and hear PLENTY in their day-to-day at school. I'm not worried about them being too sheltered. I'm so happy that they can walk in our home and BE sheltered from the world whenever they want.
The promised blessings of being sexually clean and pure are many! I love the promises to the youth in For the Strength of Youth-preparing themselves to make and keep sacred covenants; being prepared to build strong marriages; bringing children into a loving family; protected from emotional damage. And then the promises to a virtuous young woman as found in Proverbs: husband safely trusts in her; she will do good and not evil all the days of her life; clothed in strength and honor; wise and kind; her children call her blessed and her husband praises her. . .who wouldn't want that?
As we strive to have high moral standards, our thoughts and behaviors become and are virtuous. Being chaste is a way of life that does not end once you are married. It is a continous decision in the world today. I'm grateful that we have not made a family habit of watching television shows. As Ty reaches the age that he is interested in some shows he hears about from friends, I watch him as he makes decisions about what to watch.
Recently, he asked if he could watch a certain show. I didn't want it on where the rest of the kids could see it, so he rented them off the computer through Netflix. Although I wasn't totally comfortable with this, I was comfortable enough that he could make a good decision on his own. He began watching and by the third or fourth episode, he let us know that he wasn't going to watch it anymore. He just wasn't comfortable with what he was watching.
I think that the conscious decision David and I have made not to watch that kind of thing has also begun to make an impact on our children. Some may say we shelter them too much, but really - they see and hear PLENTY in their day-to-day at school. I'm not worried about them being too sheltered. I'm so happy that they can walk in our home and BE sheltered from the world whenever they want.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Individual Worth Value Experience #2
Learn about the importance of patriarchal blessings by studying about them in True to the Faith and recent conference talks. Find out why they are given and who can give them. Discuss with a parent or Church leader how to prepare to receive a patriarchal blessing and how it can teach you of your worth and identity and be a guide throughout your life. If you have not received your blessing, prepare to receive it.
In preparation for this value experience, I read two wonderful talks on the subject: President Thomas S. Monson's Your Patriarchal Blessing: A Liahona of Light and Sister Julie B. Beck's You Have a Noble Birthright.
How grateful I am to have been working on this experience, particularly at this time. I am touched by the things I read in the talks. I have felt the outpouring of love from Heavenly Father about my worth as I have pondered these talks and my own blessing. I have known it was inspired from the time I received it, a knowledge which was again confirmed to me as I studied. I had another one of those experiences this week when I was concentrating on helping a family member with something and a promise from my blessing suddenly came to my mind. It was just another little testament of the inspiration behind patriarchal blessings. How grateful I am for such a loving Father in Heaven!
In preparation for this value experience, I read two wonderful talks on the subject: President Thomas S. Monson's Your Patriarchal Blessing: A Liahona of Light and Sister Julie B. Beck's You Have a Noble Birthright.
How grateful I am to have been working on this experience, particularly at this time. I am touched by the things I read in the talks. I have felt the outpouring of love from Heavenly Father about my worth as I have pondered these talks and my own blessing. I have known it was inspired from the time I received it, a knowledge which was again confirmed to me as I studied. I had another one of those experiences this week when I was concentrating on helping a family member with something and a promise from my blessing suddenly came to my mind. It was just another little testament of the inspiration behind patriarchal blessings. How grateful I am for such a loving Father in Heaven!
Divine Nature Value Experience #3
Make your home life better. For two weeks make a special effort to strengthen your relationship with a family member by showing love through your actions. Refrain from judging, criticizing, or speaking unkindly, and watch for positive qualities in that family member. Write notes of encouragement, pray for this family member, find ways to be helpful, and verbally express your love. Share your experiences and the divine qualities you've discovered with that family member or with a parent or leader.
I realized that when I take some time to practice looking for positive qualities in others, it is so much easier to see their incredible potential. With that comes many more beautiful reminders that we are children of a loving Heavenly Father.
As we approach the end of each quarter during this graduate school experience, life seems to get more stressful. The weeks leading up to finals are filled with more stress for Dad, and he has much less time here with the family, so that makes me a little more stressed. When I take myself out of that equation and remember to take each day in stride, I can sit back and marvel at the feats Dave takes upon his shoulders. It has taken me several years of marriage to catch a little bit of a glimpse of the weight that rests on a father's shoulders to provide for his family. I know what we have to work with, and sometimes it isn't enough, but I also know we are doing what the Lord would have us do and I know things will work out. Not to say David needs to have more faith that things will work out. Feeling the necessity of providing for his family, as stated in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", is by divine design. Just as mother's, as they worry about one of their children, have a need to always do more and frequently feel like they haven't done enough; that in some way, they could have nutured more, taught in a better way-father's have, at their core, the need to provide for and protect their families. Not only is the school work challenging, but I know this responsibility weighs heavily on David, particularly because there is not much he can do at this point. As I take time to think about and try to understand what he goes through, I have more patience and strength to do what I need to do for our family, to support him.
I think we can find this truth whenever we pay more attention to someone else and focus on their story. We forget ourselves and our needs and easily see divine attributes in others.
I realized that when I take some time to practice looking for positive qualities in others, it is so much easier to see their incredible potential. With that comes many more beautiful reminders that we are children of a loving Heavenly Father.
As we approach the end of each quarter during this graduate school experience, life seems to get more stressful. The weeks leading up to finals are filled with more stress for Dad, and he has much less time here with the family, so that makes me a little more stressed. When I take myself out of that equation and remember to take each day in stride, I can sit back and marvel at the feats Dave takes upon his shoulders. It has taken me several years of marriage to catch a little bit of a glimpse of the weight that rests on a father's shoulders to provide for his family. I know what we have to work with, and sometimes it isn't enough, but I also know we are doing what the Lord would have us do and I know things will work out. Not to say David needs to have more faith that things will work out. Feeling the necessity of providing for his family, as stated in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", is by divine design. Just as mother's, as they worry about one of their children, have a need to always do more and frequently feel like they haven't done enough; that in some way, they could have nutured more, taught in a better way-father's have, at their core, the need to provide for and protect their families. Not only is the school work challenging, but I know this responsibility weighs heavily on David, particularly because there is not much he can do at this point. As I take time to think about and try to understand what he goes through, I have more patience and strength to do what I need to do for our family, to support him.
I think we can find this truth whenever we pay more attention to someone else and focus on their story. We forget ourselves and our needs and easily see divine attributes in others.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Virtue Project
The Savior chose to live a virtuous life. Follow His admonition to "learn of me" (D&C 19:23) by reading the entire Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. Liken the scriptures to your life and circumstances. As you read, record your thoughts regularly in your journal. Note the example of the Savior. What did He and those who followed Him do to live virtuous lives? At the completion of your reading, record your testimony.
"I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book" (Joseph Smith, in introduction to the Book of Mormon).
As I completed the Book of Mormon last week, I was not overcome with a sense of truthfulness of the scripture. I had instead, a small inkling of peace that I already knew; I had already known it was true. As I thought about this small inkling, I wondered if that was really what I was feeling.
But as I knelt in prayer about my testimony of its truth, I felt the Spirit's confirmation that the feelings I had when I finished were true. I had already known of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. A testimony I gained many years ago through a period of diligent study.
My feelings are not one of overwhelming joy at its truth, but an absolute quiet peace - a peace that I can only compare to time spent in the temple. How grateful I am.
As I type what I wrote in my journal, I feel that peace again and bear that testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I am by nature, a private person (all evidence to the contrary). I began this blog for myself because as I write about my experiences, the things I learn are clarified in my mind and strengthened in my heart. I also like the ability to link to other things I've learned on the same topic. I realize that others may read this and wonder at my sincerity or why I post it for all to see. I post these things for me, and maybe my daughter will find support in them when she begins this same journey; but I don't keep them private either. The growth of a testimony can be a miraculous thing and I think it is important that we realize that it doesn't come all at once. We forget all too often that this life is a journey and we are learning all along the way.
"I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book" (Joseph Smith, in introduction to the Book of Mormon).
As I completed the Book of Mormon last week, I was not overcome with a sense of truthfulness of the scripture. I had instead, a small inkling of peace that I already knew; I had already known it was true. As I thought about this small inkling, I wondered if that was really what I was feeling.
But as I knelt in prayer about my testimony of its truth, I felt the Spirit's confirmation that the feelings I had when I finished were true. I had already known of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. A testimony I gained many years ago through a period of diligent study.
My feelings are not one of overwhelming joy at its truth, but an absolute quiet peace - a peace that I can only compare to time spent in the temple. How grateful I am.
As I type what I wrote in my journal, I feel that peace again and bear that testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I am by nature, a private person (all evidence to the contrary). I began this blog for myself because as I write about my experiences, the things I learn are clarified in my mind and strengthened in my heart. I also like the ability to link to other things I've learned on the same topic. I realize that others may read this and wonder at my sincerity or why I post it for all to see. I post these things for me, and maybe my daughter will find support in them when she begins this same journey; but I don't keep them private either. The growth of a testimony can be a miraculous thing and I think it is important that we realize that it doesn't come all at once. We forget all too often that this life is a journey and we are learning all along the way.
Divine Nature Value Experience #1
What are some of the divine qualities of a daughter of God? Read The Family: A Proclamation to the World; 2 Peter 1; Alma 7:23-24; and Doctrine and Covenants 121:45. In your own words, list the divine qualities discussed in your reading. Think about how you can discover and develop each of these qualities. Record your ideas in your journal.
2 Peter mentions the divine qualities of faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness, charity. These are divine qualities, but the path to developing them is also line by line, precept by precept. Begin with faith to live by the example of Christ and find these qualities developed along the way.
I think that "easy to be entreated" in Alma 7:23 is a quality that people will find in you to be approachable, no matter the situation. Alma also reminds us to have a prayerful heart.
Doctrine & Covenants-as you try to live virtuously, your faith and trust that God is aware of all and guides your life will be strong. Not that He makes your decisions for you, but your heart will be more in tune with God as you make your choices. Anxiety about what life will bring is lessened and not a problem. You will have confidence that you are living the right way and all will be as it should.
As I increase my faith by prayer and scripture study, my life becomes more in tune with Him. I add virtue as a quality as well as to other qualities. The qualities of a daughter of God are very nurturing in nature. It seems natural for each of us to be a partaker of the divine nature. Something that may not make sense to some, but as you work to develop divine qualities, you realize how at home they are in you.
2 Peter mentions the divine qualities of faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness, charity. These are divine qualities, but the path to developing them is also line by line, precept by precept. Begin with faith to live by the example of Christ and find these qualities developed along the way.
I think that "easy to be entreated" in Alma 7:23 is a quality that people will find in you to be approachable, no matter the situation. Alma also reminds us to have a prayerful heart.
Doctrine & Covenants-as you try to live virtuously, your faith and trust that God is aware of all and guides your life will be strong. Not that He makes your decisions for you, but your heart will be more in tune with God as you make your choices. Anxiety about what life will bring is lessened and not a problem. You will have confidence that you are living the right way and all will be as it should.
As I increase my faith by prayer and scripture study, my life becomes more in tune with Him. I add virtue as a quality as well as to other qualities. The qualities of a daughter of God are very nurturing in nature. It seems natural for each of us to be a partaker of the divine nature. Something that may not make sense to some, but as you work to develop divine qualities, you realize how at home they are in you.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Divine Nature Value Experience 2
As a young woman you are blessed with divine feminine qualities. Increase your understanding of and appreciation for womanhood. Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and two talks on womanhood from a conference issue of the Church magazines. Review what "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" says about being a wife and a mother. Then ask your mother or another mother you admire what she thinks are important attributes for being a mother. List the attributes in your journal. Then choose one of those attributes and strive to develop it. After two weeks report your success to a parent or leader.
I chose to read A "Mother Heart" by Julie B. Beck and Mothers and Daughters by M. Russell Ballard. I actually asked opinions of my Facebook friends what they thought were important attributes for a mother to have. I also asked my sisters (it's great having three of them) lessons they really learned from Mom. Friends listed the following attributes: patience, a sense of humor, unconditional love, organization, prioritizing (time, stuff, kids, activities), selflessness, multi-tasker, a strong testimony, and from our very funny RS President, children. My sisters talked about some I've mentioned before: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all; If you don't like this stage, wait two weeks or a month, it will be something different; Everybody plays or nobody plays; I'm raising young ladies! and a few more timeless gems.
Although Robin's answer of "children" was funny to me, it made me pause and really think about how blessed I am to have four wonderful children. I have concentrated more on being grateful for each of their personalities and I have realized something in the last two weeks. In the stresses of life, I think I lost a lot of the sense of humor I, as a mother, need to have. Not that I'm a complete stick in the mud, but I think my children think I am a lot more stern sometimes than I really am and I've realized that it is probably because I don't laugh sometimes when I need to. A funny thing is happening as I remember to lighten up, I FEEL lighter too! Didn't realize loosing a sense of humor was a burden on my shoulders. Sometimes you don't realize what you had until it is almost gone ;)
Although there are many of the other important attributes for mothers I still need to work on, right now I am concentrating on loving my children for who they are and who they are becoming and laughing with them a lot more than they are used to. It feels great.
I love Elder Ballard's words, "Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman." He also says, "As Ralph Waldo Emerson is believed to have said, 'What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say' (see Ralph Keyes, The Quote Verifier [2006], 56)."
I don't often get stressed about major events in our lives. I know the Lord will take care of it and everything will work out. But I realized my stress at home when life is crazy and there are a million things going on at once and everyone needs to talk to me about it at once was setting a poor example to my children. How will they ever learn to think about their future family life with joy if they can't see my joy in our family life? I'm pretty sure those stressful afternoons will often speak more loudly than a lot of the fun, stress-free experiences we also have. So. . .I work to change, and laugh a little more at the same time.
I chose to read A "Mother Heart" by Julie B. Beck and Mothers and Daughters by M. Russell Ballard. I actually asked opinions of my Facebook friends what they thought were important attributes for a mother to have. I also asked my sisters (it's great having three of them) lessons they really learned from Mom. Friends listed the following attributes: patience, a sense of humor, unconditional love, organization, prioritizing (time, stuff, kids, activities), selflessness, multi-tasker, a strong testimony, and from our very funny RS President, children. My sisters talked about some I've mentioned before: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all; If you don't like this stage, wait two weeks or a month, it will be something different; Everybody plays or nobody plays; I'm raising young ladies! and a few more timeless gems.
Although Robin's answer of "children" was funny to me, it made me pause and really think about how blessed I am to have four wonderful children. I have concentrated more on being grateful for each of their personalities and I have realized something in the last two weeks. In the stresses of life, I think I lost a lot of the sense of humor I, as a mother, need to have. Not that I'm a complete stick in the mud, but I think my children think I am a lot more stern sometimes than I really am and I've realized that it is probably because I don't laugh sometimes when I need to. A funny thing is happening as I remember to lighten up, I FEEL lighter too! Didn't realize loosing a sense of humor was a burden on my shoulders. Sometimes you don't realize what you had until it is almost gone ;)
Although there are many of the other important attributes for mothers I still need to work on, right now I am concentrating on loving my children for who they are and who they are becoming and laughing with them a lot more than they are used to. It feels great.
I love Elder Ballard's words, "Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman." He also says, "As Ralph Waldo Emerson is believed to have said, 'What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say' (see Ralph Keyes, The Quote Verifier [2006], 56)."
I don't often get stressed about major events in our lives. I know the Lord will take care of it and everything will work out. But I realized my stress at home when life is crazy and there are a million things going on at once and everyone needs to talk to me about it at once was setting a poor example to my children. How will they ever learn to think about their future family life with joy if they can't see my joy in our family life? I'm pretty sure those stressful afternoons will often speak more loudly than a lot of the fun, stress-free experiences we also have. So. . .I work to change, and laugh a little more at the same time.
Faith Value Experience 3
Living gospel principles requires faith. Read about faith in the Bible Dictionary or True to the Faith. Faith in the Savior Jesus Christ leads to action. Choose a principle such as prayer, tithing, fasting, repentance, or keeping the Sabbath day holy. In your own home or another setting, plan and present a family home evening lesson about how faith helps you live that gospel principle. If possible, ask a family member to share an experience that has strengthened his or her faith. Share your own experiences as well. In your journal write down one of those experiences and describe your feelings about faith.
I discovered the words on faith in the Bible Dictionary many years ago. I think the definition is so well written and describes so well much of what I have learned for myself to be true. I had never read what True to the Faith says about faith. One of my favorite lines from that is, "Faith is much more than passive belief. You express faith through action - by the way you live." Something I was reminded of firsthand is stated there also, "You can nurture the gift of faith by praying to Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ. As you express your gratitude to your Father and as you plead with Him for blessings that you and others need, you will draw near to Him. You will draw near to the Savior, whose Atonement makes it possible for you to plead for mercy (see Alma 33:11). You will also be receptive to the quiet guidance of the Holy Ghost."
I decided to apply faith to the principle of fasting this past month and have continued to pray about what I had fasted about. My testimony of faith in our loving Heavenly Father has been tested lately and I have been reminded recently that sometimes the answers to our prayers will come about in ways unexpected to us.
As though to illustrate this point, I was checking up this morning on a friend of mine. Her husband was, at the age of 28, diagnosed with colon cancer. They began a blog specifically to update their friends and loved ones on his progress. Surgery was last week and they were able to remove all of the cancer. He states, "A miracle." But then he proceeds to outline the miracles that occurred so that they found the cancer in the first place, because let's be honest, what 28 year old would ever think he needed to be screened for colon cancer? A small illness that caused an infection that wouldn't go away, that turned into a really big infection that they couldn't get rid of. And on down the road in a very short amount of time.
He says, "A sinus infection saved my life. A sinus infection. Blessings in disguise are all around us. It has taught me not to jump so fast to decide things that happen to me are bad. Things that happen to us are for a reason. Sometimes we don't even know. This was obvious to me, which provides a great learning experience. An eye opener. Something to sink my teeth into. But subtle things in our lives may go unnoticed as blessings in disguise. Be careful what you are cursing over."
The road to answered prayers is rarely an easy one, but I testify that as we "nurture [our] gift of faith," we will be "receptive to the quiet guidance of the Holy Ghost" and that usually those answers come by way of someone else. We are His instruments to help one another along the way.
I discovered the words on faith in the Bible Dictionary many years ago. I think the definition is so well written and describes so well much of what I have learned for myself to be true. I had never read what True to the Faith says about faith. One of my favorite lines from that is, "Faith is much more than passive belief. You express faith through action - by the way you live." Something I was reminded of firsthand is stated there also, "You can nurture the gift of faith by praying to Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ. As you express your gratitude to your Father and as you plead with Him for blessings that you and others need, you will draw near to Him. You will draw near to the Savior, whose Atonement makes it possible for you to plead for mercy (see Alma 33:11). You will also be receptive to the quiet guidance of the Holy Ghost."
I decided to apply faith to the principle of fasting this past month and have continued to pray about what I had fasted about. My testimony of faith in our loving Heavenly Father has been tested lately and I have been reminded recently that sometimes the answers to our prayers will come about in ways unexpected to us.
As though to illustrate this point, I was checking up this morning on a friend of mine. Her husband was, at the age of 28, diagnosed with colon cancer. They began a blog specifically to update their friends and loved ones on his progress. Surgery was last week and they were able to remove all of the cancer. He states, "A miracle." But then he proceeds to outline the miracles that occurred so that they found the cancer in the first place, because let's be honest, what 28 year old would ever think he needed to be screened for colon cancer? A small illness that caused an infection that wouldn't go away, that turned into a really big infection that they couldn't get rid of. And on down the road in a very short amount of time.
He says, "A sinus infection saved my life. A sinus infection. Blessings in disguise are all around us. It has taught me not to jump so fast to decide things that happen to me are bad. Things that happen to us are for a reason. Sometimes we don't even know. This was obvious to me, which provides a great learning experience. An eye opener. Something to sink my teeth into. But subtle things in our lives may go unnoticed as blessings in disguise. Be careful what you are cursing over."
The road to answered prayers is rarely an easy one, but I testify that as we "nurture [our] gift of faith," we will be "receptive to the quiet guidance of the Holy Ghost" and that usually those answers come by way of someone else. We are His instruments to help one another along the way.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
For the Strength of Youth - Going Forward with Faith
Read about this standard here.
Much of what I've learned about going forward with faith I will link to my post about Faith, value experience #1, as I ended up writing about both of these things in the same entry as my journal. But another thought came to me as I was reading the Book of Mormon this morning. As part of working on the Virtue Project, I have been trying to liken the scriptures to myself, and gain greater understanding and meaning from the Book of Mormon in my life.
I started reading this morning about when Christ visited the Nephites (begins in 3 Nephi 11). I was struck by 3 Nephi 12:45: ". . .for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good." This reminds me that we are ALL His children and He loves us all.
Each of us here were righteous in heaven - we each made a righteous decision and He wants us to follow Him so that we can return! We need to help our brothers and sisters along the way.
I know it can seem overwhelming in our busy, hectic and often troubled lives, but we are meant to help each other. The great thing? This light is naturally already a part of us - we just need to give it a small part of our time and it expands and we suddenly realize that we can be there for others and when we are, we have greater joy. Everything falls neatly into place as though that is where it always belonged.
Much of what I've learned about going forward with faith I will link to my post about Faith, value experience #1, as I ended up writing about both of these things in the same entry as my journal. But another thought came to me as I was reading the Book of Mormon this morning. As part of working on the Virtue Project, I have been trying to liken the scriptures to myself, and gain greater understanding and meaning from the Book of Mormon in my life.
I started reading this morning about when Christ visited the Nephites (begins in 3 Nephi 11). I was struck by 3 Nephi 12:45: ". . .for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good." This reminds me that we are ALL His children and He loves us all.
Each of us here were righteous in heaven - we each made a righteous decision and He wants us to follow Him so that we can return! We need to help our brothers and sisters along the way.
I know it can seem overwhelming in our busy, hectic and often troubled lives, but we are meant to help each other. The great thing? This light is naturally already a part of us - we just need to give it a small part of our time and it expands and we suddenly realize that we can be there for others and when we are, we have greater joy. Everything falls neatly into place as though that is where it always belonged.
Faith Value Experience 1
The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Learn about faith from the scriptures and living prophets. Read Hebrews 11; Alma 32:17-43; Ether 12:6-22; and Joseph Smith-History 1:11-20. Read two general conference talks on faith. Exercise your own faith by establishing a habit of prayer in your life. Begin by regularly saying your morning and evening prayers. After three weeks of following this pattern, discuss with a parent or leader what you have learned about faith and how daily personal prayer has strengthened your faith. In your journal express your feelings about faith and prayer.
The talks from general conference I chose are: President Thomas S. Monson, Come Unto Him in Prayer and Faith (not actually from general conference, but it is from the Prophet, so I counted it); and Elder David A. Bednar, Ask in Faith.
As we make personal prayer a habit - a priority, we turn to our Heavenly Father throughout the day. Our thoughts turn to him more easily. Then He is able to strengthn our faith, in confirmations that cannot be denied come from Him. I tried to take my prayers to a different level, and to listen more during my prayers. I found myself praying more specifically about blessings and about particular needs - of mine and family members. Specifics I had not considered before.
I also found, that while I have kept a brisk pace at reading the Book of Mormon this time around, I had not focused a lot on likening the scriptures to myself. I found that as I have kept this little prayer in my heart, I have been blessed with greater inspiration in those pages. Things I need to learn, things I need to remember.
Many friends, mostly from work, marveled at my attitude and excitement in moving our family away to further David's education. A couple of them even went so far as to suggest I stay in Utah with the kids for 27 months while he finished school. This thought was so foreign to me I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. When I said to my friend that surely, if she were in the same situation she would not separate her family. She assured me that she most certainly would.
My cheerfulness about his stage in our lives brought about so many comments that I've thought a bit about it. Should I be feeling like I've been gypped and am going through a terrible sacrifice? I don't think so. On the contrary, I feel very blessed.
So what is it exactly? Is it just some gift, some added blessing? Well certainly it is an added blessing, but my point is this: it is not just something that was already a part of me, waiting to bloom at the right time. My key to finding joy in the journey is this: pray about the decisions you make in your life. When you have a confirmation that you are doing what the Lord would have you to, it is easy. Not that life is suddenly a breeze, but you have the strength to do what is needed because you not only know you aren't alone - you know you won't be left alone. And if you make prayer and scriptures a priority in your life, your day can be filled with moments of comfort, joy, strength, and faith. What you need when you need it.
The talks from general conference I chose are: President Thomas S. Monson, Come Unto Him in Prayer and Faith (not actually from general conference, but it is from the Prophet, so I counted it); and Elder David A. Bednar, Ask in Faith.
As we make personal prayer a habit - a priority, we turn to our Heavenly Father throughout the day. Our thoughts turn to him more easily. Then He is able to strengthn our faith, in confirmations that cannot be denied come from Him. I tried to take my prayers to a different level, and to listen more during my prayers. I found myself praying more specifically about blessings and about particular needs - of mine and family members. Specifics I had not considered before.
I also found, that while I have kept a brisk pace at reading the Book of Mormon this time around, I had not focused a lot on likening the scriptures to myself. I found that as I have kept this little prayer in my heart, I have been blessed with greater inspiration in those pages. Things I need to learn, things I need to remember.
Many friends, mostly from work, marveled at my attitude and excitement in moving our family away to further David's education. A couple of them even went so far as to suggest I stay in Utah with the kids for 27 months while he finished school. This thought was so foreign to me I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. When I said to my friend that surely, if she were in the same situation she would not separate her family. She assured me that she most certainly would.
My cheerfulness about his stage in our lives brought about so many comments that I've thought a bit about it. Should I be feeling like I've been gypped and am going through a terrible sacrifice? I don't think so. On the contrary, I feel very blessed.
So what is it exactly? Is it just some gift, some added blessing? Well certainly it is an added blessing, but my point is this: it is not just something that was already a part of me, waiting to bloom at the right time. My key to finding joy in the journey is this: pray about the decisions you make in your life. When you have a confirmation that you are doing what the Lord would have you to, it is easy. Not that life is suddenly a breeze, but you have the strength to do what is needed because you not only know you aren't alone - you know you won't be left alone. And if you make prayer and scriptures a priority in your life, your day can be filled with moments of comfort, joy, strength, and faith. What you need when you need it.
For the Strenth of Youth - Service to Others
Read about this standard here.
Yesterday started out as a really crummy day. I had slept horribly and wandered around with a terrible headache.
In my all-around gloominess, I became increasingly sad and I could not shake it. I felt uplifted when I read the Book of Mormon that morning, but by the time everyone was up and out the door to school, I could not shake this feeling. In my cloudy stupor, I became convinced that David had done something I should be upset about. Oh, what our family puts up with!
Each time I thought about confronting him, I felt like I should not. The more I tried to listen to that guidance, the more sulky I became.
Before long, David had to run an errand and once he left I was quite distraught. I knelt in prayer for strength. I didn't feel much better, but felt like I needed to call a certain sister in our ward and offer my assistance. I really did not feel up to this. Further, I was pretty sure she would not need my assistance, but I continued to feel impressed to call her.
So. . .finally. . .I put myself aside and called her up. I offered my assistance, she assured me she was taken care of, we spoke for a few short minutes, and that was that.
I was quite surprised at the miracle that occured in me however. I felt lighter than air! No more worries consumed me!
When I was grabbing the phone to call her, I noticed a book I had placed on the bookshelf the day before. It is a short little book called "The Remarkable Soul of a Woman" adapted from a talk that President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave at the general Relief Society meeting on September 27, 2008 entitled Happiness, Your Heritage. I had not quite finished reading it, and failed to see how it could possibly cheer me up, but grabbed it anyways and then made my phone call.
Sitting there, post phone call, lighter than air, I picked up the book and within a page or two read this by President Lorenzo Snow, "When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everthing seems illuminated."
This little miracle is certainly what happened to me yesterday and I am so grateful. As a side note, not long after this experience, David received news that caused him to have a long and stress-filled day. I am so grateful for that still small voice that earlier told me to hold my tongue. I was able to be the support I needed to be, instead of being the start of what turned out to be a crummy day for him.
Yesterday started out as a really crummy day. I had slept horribly and wandered around with a terrible headache.
In my all-around gloominess, I became increasingly sad and I could not shake it. I felt uplifted when I read the Book of Mormon that morning, but by the time everyone was up and out the door to school, I could not shake this feeling. In my cloudy stupor, I became convinced that David had done something I should be upset about. Oh, what our family puts up with!
Each time I thought about confronting him, I felt like I should not. The more I tried to listen to that guidance, the more sulky I became.
Before long, David had to run an errand and once he left I was quite distraught. I knelt in prayer for strength. I didn't feel much better, but felt like I needed to call a certain sister in our ward and offer my assistance. I really did not feel up to this. Further, I was pretty sure she would not need my assistance, but I continued to feel impressed to call her.
So. . .finally. . .I put myself aside and called her up. I offered my assistance, she assured me she was taken care of, we spoke for a few short minutes, and that was that.
I was quite surprised at the miracle that occured in me however. I felt lighter than air! No more worries consumed me!
When I was grabbing the phone to call her, I noticed a book I had placed on the bookshelf the day before. It is a short little book called "The Remarkable Soul of a Woman" adapted from a talk that President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave at the general Relief Society meeting on September 27, 2008 entitled Happiness, Your Heritage. I had not quite finished reading it, and failed to see how it could possibly cheer me up, but grabbed it anyways and then made my phone call.
Sitting there, post phone call, lighter than air, I picked up the book and within a page or two read this by President Lorenzo Snow, "When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everthing seems illuminated."
This little miracle is certainly what happened to me yesterday and I am so grateful. As a side note, not long after this experience, David received news that caused him to have a long and stress-filled day. I am so grateful for that still small voice that earlier told me to hold my tongue. I was able to be the support I needed to be, instead of being the start of what turned out to be a crummy day for him.
For the Strength of Youth - Physical Health
Read about it here.
I have felt strongly lately of the importance of our Physical Health, particularly Dave's and mine. We have done a much better job of exercising since moving to Oregon, but it is very evident that changes must be made to our diet. Much as I hate to say it. This is something I wish I'd done long ago. Looking for new recipes that are healthier is a chore for me. I love it when I find something everyone likes, but searching out those gems can be discouraging. An added struggle to this is the amount of money it takes to eat healthy. We are in a situation where we can't really tear up a rented yard to put in a garden. Building something that we can tear down later brings with it a necessity of funds that are already stretched. I was really frustrated the other day, feeling like I can't ever come in on budget when it comes to the food. A family of six in graduate school is on an extremely tight budget, and the food budget is strict because it doesn't come from loan money. In my discouragement, my wise husband broke down the challenge that I am facing each time I go shopping. What it comes down to is about $8.00 per meal. Not a person. For the whole family. Three meals a day for six people because let's face it, we really don't eat out anymore.
Someone commented to me the other day when I mentioned the monthly amount budgeted for food for our family and she was surprised at how much it was. She said she doesn't spend nearly that amount of money on her family of eight. I mentioned this to Dave in my discouragement and the kind soul reminded me that like a lot of families, they probably eat out occasionally and don't add that into their budget. He also mentioned that he doesn't think most people really sit down and calculate how much they truly spend on food in a month. It seriously adds up!
I continue to focus on our needs to be more physically healthy. It is an ongoing challenge, but thankfully, so is our health.
I have felt strongly lately of the importance of our Physical Health, particularly Dave's and mine. We have done a much better job of exercising since moving to Oregon, but it is very evident that changes must be made to our diet. Much as I hate to say it. This is something I wish I'd done long ago. Looking for new recipes that are healthier is a chore for me. I love it when I find something everyone likes, but searching out those gems can be discouraging. An added struggle to this is the amount of money it takes to eat healthy. We are in a situation where we can't really tear up a rented yard to put in a garden. Building something that we can tear down later brings with it a necessity of funds that are already stretched. I was really frustrated the other day, feeling like I can't ever come in on budget when it comes to the food. A family of six in graduate school is on an extremely tight budget, and the food budget is strict because it doesn't come from loan money. In my discouragement, my wise husband broke down the challenge that I am facing each time I go shopping. What it comes down to is about $8.00 per meal. Not a person. For the whole family. Three meals a day for six people because let's face it, we really don't eat out anymore.
Someone commented to me the other day when I mentioned the monthly amount budgeted for food for our family and she was surprised at how much it was. She said she doesn't spend nearly that amount of money on her family of eight. I mentioned this to Dave in my discouragement and the kind soul reminded me that like a lot of families, they probably eat out occasionally and don't add that into their budget. He also mentioned that he doesn't think most people really sit down and calculate how much they truly spend on food in a month. It seriously adds up!
I continue to focus on our needs to be more physically healthy. It is an ongoing challenge, but thankfully, so is our health.
Choice and Accountability - Value Experience 2
Read the pamphlet For the Strength of Youth. List in your journal each standard of righteous behavior the pamphlet outlines, and record why it is important to choose to live those standards. Practice living righteous standards by choosing three standards in which you need to improve. You might choose to be more selective about television, music, books, or other media, or you might improve your modesty, language, or honesty. After three weeks share your progress with your family, your class, or a leader.
After some thought about the standards in For the Strength of Youth, I decided to work on Physical Health, Service to Others, and Going Forward with Faith. You can click on each to read about my experiences.
After some thought about the standards in For the Strength of Youth, I decided to work on Physical Health, Service to Others, and Going Forward with Faith. You can click on each to read about my experiences.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Faith Value Experience 2
Discover the principles of faith taught by the mothers of Helaman's stripling warriors. Read Alma 56:45-48 and Alma 57:21. Review what "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" says about a mother's role. With a mother, grandmother, or leader, discuss the qualities a woman needs in order to teach children to have faith and to base their decisions on gospel truths. How can these principles help you in your life today and help you prepare to be a faithful woman, wife, and mother? Record your thoughts and feelings in your journal.
This is what stuck out to me as I studied these references:
Alma 56:45-48 - The Stripling Warriors' mothers KNEW. They had testimonies.
Alma 57:21 - They taught their sons obedience, so they recognized the need to obey, but ALSO - their sons had FAITH to obey. That means they learned - probably by example - that when they obeyed, they were blessed, there were good consequences. Therefore, they obeyed & observed to perform "every word of command with exactness," - and because of their faith, it was "done unto them."
"The Family: A Proclamation to the World" - Happiness in family life is most likely achieved when founded on the teachings of Jesus. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. It is important to establish and maintain principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. These opportunities come up frequently in family life. I need to be more aware of these opportunities, I know they are important.
I remember times when my own mother would bear her testimony. These are not only memories when she has born her testimony in church, but in the ways she taught us to treat others.
My Mom has always worked outside the home, and I know at times she has felt she could do better as a mother. But let's face it - we can all sympathize with feeling like we could have, should have done more.
Here, not so much in a nutshell is what I've learned from her. Almost entirely by the example she has set.
Two "Mom" phrases - THE two that come to mind when I think, "Mom always used to say. . ."
-Everybody plays or nobody plays.
- If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. (That one might be borrowed from Thumper in Bambi. . .)
Always, growing up, when I wanted to vent about something that really upset me, inevitably I would vent to Mom, who would then, by just a word or two, point out another side to the story. Drove me CRAZY - and it never helped me feel better. Not only would she not just let me express frustration and leave it at that, she easily and always simply showed me there are two sides to every story. I still did not come to recognize the value in this until years later, after a poignant experience taught me not to judge - there are always two sides to every story, every opinion comes as a result of someone's experiences - people have traveled a path to get to their point in their story and it is not the same path filled with the same experiences I've had (another story for another time). Even so many years later, I am just now recognizing that the gift that came out of THAT experience was made possible by the seeds of love and respect Mom planted and spent years quietly cultivating.
I had the opportunity in my much younger years to work in the same hospital that my mother was a director of one of the departments in. I had the unique opportunity to see Mom's work ethic on an almost daily basis OUTSIDE our home - away from family who we share, let's face it - our best AND worst with.
Guess what I learned? All of those "two sides to every story" moments I'd had growing up? She wasn't just blowing smoke, she really lives that way.
Indeed, I was in my late twenties before I ever heard her make a snide remark about another person. Ever. I remember being so surprised because it was so out of character for her and she knew it was out of character for her because she immediately apologized for saying it. Not because I had heard it, but because she knew it was wrong.
I could go on - my Mom is a great example in so many ways, but for today's purposes I'll just say (in a nutshell) that:
-Everybody plays or nobody plays; and
-If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
I learned these things because my Mom lives these things. She knew it and taught me by example to live this way.
Teaching children to live by faith and make decisions based on gospel truths means we have to live by faith and make decisions based on gospel truths.
Live by example. The kids'll get it, eventually.
This is what stuck out to me as I studied these references:
Alma 56:45-48 - The Stripling Warriors' mothers KNEW. They had testimonies.
Alma 57:21 - They taught their sons obedience, so they recognized the need to obey, but ALSO - their sons had FAITH to obey. That means they learned - probably by example - that when they obeyed, they were blessed, there were good consequences. Therefore, they obeyed & observed to perform "every word of command with exactness," - and because of their faith, it was "done unto them."
"The Family: A Proclamation to the World" - Happiness in family life is most likely achieved when founded on the teachings of Jesus. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. It is important to establish and maintain principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. These opportunities come up frequently in family life. I need to be more aware of these opportunities, I know they are important.
I remember times when my own mother would bear her testimony. These are not only memories when she has born her testimony in church, but in the ways she taught us to treat others.
My Mom has always worked outside the home, and I know at times she has felt she could do better as a mother. But let's face it - we can all sympathize with feeling like we could have, should have done more.
Here, not so much in a nutshell is what I've learned from her. Almost entirely by the example she has set.
Two "Mom" phrases - THE two that come to mind when I think, "Mom always used to say. . ."
-Everybody plays or nobody plays.
- If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. (That one might be borrowed from Thumper in Bambi. . .)
Always, growing up, when I wanted to vent about something that really upset me, inevitably I would vent to Mom, who would then, by just a word or two, point out another side to the story. Drove me CRAZY - and it never helped me feel better. Not only would she not just let me express frustration and leave it at that, she easily and always simply showed me there are two sides to every story. I still did not come to recognize the value in this until years later, after a poignant experience taught me not to judge - there are always two sides to every story, every opinion comes as a result of someone's experiences - people have traveled a path to get to their point in their story and it is not the same path filled with the same experiences I've had (another story for another time). Even so many years later, I am just now recognizing that the gift that came out of THAT experience was made possible by the seeds of love and respect Mom planted and spent years quietly cultivating.
I had the opportunity in my much younger years to work in the same hospital that my mother was a director of one of the departments in. I had the unique opportunity to see Mom's work ethic on an almost daily basis OUTSIDE our home - away from family who we share, let's face it - our best AND worst with.
Guess what I learned? All of those "two sides to every story" moments I'd had growing up? She wasn't just blowing smoke, she really lives that way.
Indeed, I was in my late twenties before I ever heard her make a snide remark about another person. Ever. I remember being so surprised because it was so out of character for her and she knew it was out of character for her because she immediately apologized for saying it. Not because I had heard it, but because she knew it was wrong.
I could go on - my Mom is a great example in so many ways, but for today's purposes I'll just say (in a nutshell) that:
-Everybody plays or nobody plays; and
-If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
I learned these things because my Mom lives these things. She knew it and taught me by example to live this way.
Teaching children to live by faith and make decisions based on gospel truths means we have to live by faith and make decisions based on gospel truths.
Live by example. The kids'll get it, eventually.
Mom with our two youngest.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
For the Strength of Youth Standard 3: Education
Read about it here.
I hope our children remember the sacrifices of Dave's higher education and that they will see the blessings of those sacrifices now and when he is finished. Certainly one of the blessings of graduate school with a family of our size and ages is the example of the importance of education the children will come away with.
I take great joy in meeting and working with new people. It only serves to strengthen my testimony that we are all children of a Heavenly Father who loves us.
I love the scripture reference for this standard: Doctrine and Covenants 88:77-80. I love that the Lord tells us to learn and grow in a vast majority of things.
I hope our children remember the sacrifices of Dave's higher education and that they will see the blessings of those sacrifices now and when he is finished. Certainly one of the blessings of graduate school with a family of our size and ages is the example of the importance of education the children will come away with.
I take great joy in meeting and working with new people. It only serves to strengthen my testimony that we are all children of a Heavenly Father who loves us.
I love the scripture reference for this standard: Doctrine and Covenants 88:77-80. I love that the Lord tells us to learn and grow in a vast majority of things.
For the Strength of Youth Standard 2: Gratitude
Read about this standard here. Live with a spirit of gratitude.
This week it is hard to focus on gratitude and not on things I wish I could buy. What is it about not having money that makes you want to buy, buy, buy? Maybe not everyone, but I find myself that way. I'm not even a real shopaholic.
Despite the stress of our financial situation, I am happy, and so grateful to be here at school. The kids have been tried and are growing because of it. So are Dave and I. I am grateful for our health too. So far, we have escaped serious injury or illness.
I am particularly grateful for my children. Who they are and who they are becoming. I love each of their personalities. Some days are hard, especially when they are grumpy (or I'm grumpy) or defiant and having a hard time getting along. But I know that even though some days are hard, I'm glad their personalities are strong enough to defend themselves and ask questions when they don't understand and see injustice. My prayer for them is the same as for each of us. That we will someday recognize our potential and have a desire to work towards it AND realize we have the strength to do so.
This week it is hard to focus on gratitude and not on things I wish I could buy. What is it about not having money that makes you want to buy, buy, buy? Maybe not everyone, but I find myself that way. I'm not even a real shopaholic.
Despite the stress of our financial situation, I am happy, and so grateful to be here at school. The kids have been tried and are growing because of it. So are Dave and I. I am grateful for our health too. So far, we have escaped serious injury or illness.
I am particularly grateful for my children. Who they are and who they are becoming. I love each of their personalities. Some days are hard, especially when they are grumpy (or I'm grumpy) or defiant and having a hard time getting along. But I know that even though some days are hard, I'm glad their personalities are strong enough to defend themselves and ask questions when they don't understand and see injustice. My prayer for them is the same as for each of us. That we will someday recognize our potential and have a desire to work towards it AND realize we have the strength to do so.
For the Strength of Youth Standard 1: Agency and Accountability
You can read about this standard here. Agency is a gift from Heavenly Father. I particularly love the line, "You are a child of God with great strength." That applies to every single one of us!
I know choosing right brings happiness. I have experienced this. The results bring me confidence in making choices in this confusing world.
I would love to work on the computer each day. Scrapbooking, designing. . .it makes it hard to want to clean and figure out dinner. However, when I get my work done early and have time later to play I feel so much better, and it causes less stress for me and everyone else. It is also easy for me to step away from the computer when the kids need me. It is hard to turn it off when all I'm looking at is icky work!
I love Alma 41:11. ". . .and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness."
Some people say feeling guilty about sinning is just a product of being brainwashed. That if we hadn't been trained to feel like we were sinning, we would feel no guilt. This simply isn't true.
When Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, they knew good from evil. There is a difference and we know it because evil is contrary to the nature of God whose children we are. Why would anyone choose to live contrary to the nature of happiness? With this scripture, this is so plain and obvious to me.
I know choosing right brings happiness. I have experienced this. The results bring me confidence in making choices in this confusing world.
I would love to work on the computer each day. Scrapbooking, designing. . .it makes it hard to want to clean and figure out dinner. However, when I get my work done early and have time later to play I feel so much better, and it causes less stress for me and everyone else. It is also easy for me to step away from the computer when the kids need me. It is hard to turn it off when all I'm looking at is icky work!
I love Alma 41:11. ". . .and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness."
Some people say feeling guilty about sinning is just a product of being brainwashed. That if we hadn't been trained to feel like we were sinning, we would feel no guilt. This simply isn't true.
When Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, they knew good from evil. There is a difference and we know it because evil is contrary to the nature of God whose children we are. Why would anyone choose to live contrary to the nature of happiness? With this scripture, this is so plain and obvious to me.
Choice and Accountability - Value Experience 2
Read the Pamphlet For the Strength of Youth. List in your journal each standard of righteous behavior the pamphlet outlines, and record why it is important to choose to live those standards. Practice living righteous standards by choosing three standards in which you need to improve. You might choose to be more selective about television, music, books, or other media, or you might improve your modesty, language, or honesty. After three weeks share your progress with your family, your class, or a leader.
I am particularly touched by the part in the First Presidency's Message in For the Strength of Youth where they state "We promise that as you keep these standards and live by the truths in the scriptures, you will be able to do your life's work with greater wisdom and skill and bear trials with greater courage."
I know this is true! Although I didn't have this pamphlet growing up, I know that by living the standards of the church these were my blessings in my youth. I believe they can give me strength again and I'm grateful for the opportunity to work with the Young Women of the Church to remind me of these blessings!
I am particularly touched by the part in the First Presidency's Message in For the Strength of Youth where they state "We promise that as you keep these standards and live by the truths in the scriptures, you will be able to do your life's work with greater wisdom and skill and bear trials with greater courage."
I know this is true! Although I didn't have this pamphlet growing up, I know that by living the standards of the church these were my blessings in my youth. I believe they can give me strength again and I'm grateful for the opportunity to work with the Young Women of the Church to remind me of these blessings!
Choice and Accountability - Value Experience 3
Agency, or the ability to choose, is one of God's greatest gifts to His children. Read about agency in Joshua 24:15; 2 Nephi 2; and Doctrine & Covenants 82:2-10. Discuss the blessings and responsibilities of agency. Record in your journal your understanding of agency and the consequences of choices and actions.
I started this by studying the required reading and wrote some specific things down in my journal about the responsibilites and blessings of agency. I didn't feel as though I had learned much more than I knew. These were scriptures I was familiar with and although grateful to be reminded of them, I felt there was something more for me to learn.
Ask and it shall be given, right? Do you ever pause just a minute when you think about asking for greater understanding? Rarely does testimony grow without some kind of work.
Dave and I found out the other night that a couple that we knew from Kaysville is getting a divorce. It came as quite a shock to us and makes me so sad. Not just because of their marriage, but because I know and love their children. I worked with them often in Primary.
This knowledge came on the heels of my preparation for teaching a combined YW lesson on the home and the family. In my lesson, I used an example of a day at our house when decisions I have made throughout the day lead to a serious lack of organization, particularly at that crazy, busy time of the day. Namely: 4p to bedtime. My disorganization leads to chaos, confusion, and ultimately contention.
Because of my prep for my lesson, I've thought a lot about what I can do to make this time of day go more smoothly, so that I can be there for the kids. If my stuff is taken care of, then I can better handle all of the unexpecteds that go along with six different personalities.
I think of the heartache when someone you love makes a decision you don't like. I have felt sorrow, disappointment, and anger, and I have a couple of wisened years under my belt to help handle that. It is hard to watch my children go through those feelings when they don't like a decision their parents have made. I pray that the anger won't take hold in their hearts and they can find happiness - and, one day recognize where their happiness and true joy come from.
This is something I've watched in one of our children lately. Some days are good, some are bad. Combined with the stress of moving at this age, AND being this age. . .I have been so concerned at times for this boy that some days seems is teetering on the edge. The edge being staying in anger and taking the dark road that follows, or finding some light and realizing that is a happier place to be.
I don't recall days like that for me in my youth, although taking a glance back through journals from that time in my life I am shocked about some of the things I felt some days.
Today is one of those days that words cannot express my gratitude for my Heavenly Father's bounteous blessings. For piercing through the bitterness of a 12 year old to show His love for him. For the Light that today, helped him to just "get it."
Light always helps us make better decisions. Light makes things discernable.
I started this by studying the required reading and wrote some specific things down in my journal about the responsibilites and blessings of agency. I didn't feel as though I had learned much more than I knew. These were scriptures I was familiar with and although grateful to be reminded of them, I felt there was something more for me to learn.
Ask and it shall be given, right? Do you ever pause just a minute when you think about asking for greater understanding? Rarely does testimony grow without some kind of work.
Dave and I found out the other night that a couple that we knew from Kaysville is getting a divorce. It came as quite a shock to us and makes me so sad. Not just because of their marriage, but because I know and love their children. I worked with them often in Primary.
This knowledge came on the heels of my preparation for teaching a combined YW lesson on the home and the family. In my lesson, I used an example of a day at our house when decisions I have made throughout the day lead to a serious lack of organization, particularly at that crazy, busy time of the day. Namely: 4p to bedtime. My disorganization leads to chaos, confusion, and ultimately contention.
Because of my prep for my lesson, I've thought a lot about what I can do to make this time of day go more smoothly, so that I can be there for the kids. If my stuff is taken care of, then I can better handle all of the unexpecteds that go along with six different personalities.
I think of the heartache when someone you love makes a decision you don't like. I have felt sorrow, disappointment, and anger, and I have a couple of wisened years under my belt to help handle that. It is hard to watch my children go through those feelings when they don't like a decision their parents have made. I pray that the anger won't take hold in their hearts and they can find happiness - and, one day recognize where their happiness and true joy come from.
This is something I've watched in one of our children lately. Some days are good, some are bad. Combined with the stress of moving at this age, AND being this age. . .I have been so concerned at times for this boy that some days seems is teetering on the edge. The edge being staying in anger and taking the dark road that follows, or finding some light and realizing that is a happier place to be.
I don't recall days like that for me in my youth, although taking a glance back through journals from that time in my life I am shocked about some of the things I felt some days.
Today is one of those days that words cannot express my gratitude for my Heavenly Father's bounteous blessings. For piercing through the bitterness of a 12 year old to show His love for him. For the Light that today, helped him to just "get it."
Light always helps us make better decisions. Light makes things discernable.
Choice and Accountability - Value Experience 1
A daughter of God can make wise decisions and solve problems. Read 1 Nephi 15:8; 2 Nephi 32:3; Alma 34:19-27; Ether 2 and Ether 3; and Doctrine and Covenants 9:7-9. Follow a pattern of regular scripture study and prayer to receive help in making personal decisions such as choosing good friends, being kind to others, getting up on time, or other decisions. Discuss with a parent or leader how regular scripture study and prayer helped you make correct decisions.
I had determined to make scripture study a regualr part of my day again early last October. Then, in November we were challenged by the Stake Relief Society Presidency to read the Book of Mormon by the end of April as the R.S. encouraged the sisters to follow the example of the YW and the Value of Virtue. So I started over. Again. . .but I've stayed with it this time.
I find that if I begin my day with a purpose - namely. . .reading the Book of Mormon, everything else falls into place. Instead of waking up and facing the tasks of the household with drudgery, I face them, not with joy necessarily - but resolve without resentment because I know the order I bring to the house brings joy later. I cannot function when my realm of responsibility is in chaos. When those things are in order, I can handle with patience all of the craziness that is part of our lives after that 4:00 hour. Homework, dinner, playtime, children's household responsibilities (I could write a whole entry on how much easier life would be if I didn't have to teach my children to work), and all of the personalities and moods that accompany all of that.
I was touched when I read Ether chapter 2 with the required reading for this value experience. The Brother of Jared being provided with needed knowledge through continued prayer hit close to home for me in our current "grad student with a family of six" situation.
A little while ago, I started to write down blessings that I can recognize coming to us during this sometimes uncertain time in our lives. At first, I hesitated to do so, as if the blessings were like secrets and if acknowledged, they would disappear. A bit silly and superstitious, I know.
I decided I would much rather be able to look back and remember those blessings than forget. As a result, I carry around with me a grateful heart. Not that I am as full of gratitude as I should be. I fall short a great deal and I know I'm missing being grateful about a good many things.
But I am so grateful for His watchful care over us. His love is SO evident. As much as I've recognized that in the last several months, it makes me wonder how much I've failed to recognize for so many years.
That is what regular prayer and scripture study have done for me. Made my often oblivious heart tender and able to better recognize and be grateful for the many blessings that are mine. . .because of Him.
I had determined to make scripture study a regualr part of my day again early last October. Then, in November we were challenged by the Stake Relief Society Presidency to read the Book of Mormon by the end of April as the R.S. encouraged the sisters to follow the example of the YW and the Value of Virtue. So I started over. Again. . .but I've stayed with it this time.
I find that if I begin my day with a purpose - namely. . .reading the Book of Mormon, everything else falls into place. Instead of waking up and facing the tasks of the household with drudgery, I face them, not with joy necessarily - but resolve without resentment because I know the order I bring to the house brings joy later. I cannot function when my realm of responsibility is in chaos. When those things are in order, I can handle with patience all of the craziness that is part of our lives after that 4:00 hour. Homework, dinner, playtime, children's household responsibilities (I could write a whole entry on how much easier life would be if I didn't have to teach my children to work), and all of the personalities and moods that accompany all of that.
I was touched when I read Ether chapter 2 with the required reading for this value experience. The Brother of Jared being provided with needed knowledge through continued prayer hit close to home for me in our current "grad student with a family of six" situation.
A little while ago, I started to write down blessings that I can recognize coming to us during this sometimes uncertain time in our lives. At first, I hesitated to do so, as if the blessings were like secrets and if acknowledged, they would disappear. A bit silly and superstitious, I know.
I decided I would much rather be able to look back and remember those blessings than forget. As a result, I carry around with me a grateful heart. Not that I am as full of gratitude as I should be. I fall short a great deal and I know I'm missing being grateful about a good many things.
But I am so grateful for His watchful care over us. His love is SO evident. As much as I've recognized that in the last several months, it makes me wonder how much I've failed to recognize for so many years.
That is what regular prayer and scripture study have done for me. Made my often oblivious heart tender and able to better recognize and be grateful for the many blessings that are mine. . .because of Him.
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